Is wearing your heart on your sleeves enough?

My friend Stanley is someone I look up to when it comes to issues of love and romance, he is very explicit with his emotions, sometimes I feel its too much, such effusive display of affection has yet been known to men like me. Once he is in love it exudes from every faucet of his body, eyes, mouth, hands, breath, its quite palpable. I often say to myself, will I ever achieve this, because as an introvert in transition, we take more time testing the waters than getting in.

As admirable as his gestures may be, it always seems never to be enough as the inevitable breakup is always lurking in the shadows. This further worsening my precarious unromantic state of life. Are relationships rocket science? What requirements would be considered enough? because from where I stand its a really tall order.

So, late last year, my living version of Romeo meets his Juliet at a wedding, I would like to down play the whole event as, it was the usual occurrence, but this was far from it, my friend had upgraded his love apparatus, it was nothing i had seen before, she had him at hello, from hotel bookings, to paid flights, I was beyond mesmerized. It didn't stop here, they were also talks of marriage and children, the level of intimacy shared and expressed by the parties concerned was intimidating, dear Lord, where is did my love chromosome go, can love be this captivating, I was enthralled. These events where not new to me, rather I was witnessing them for the first time.

This tale of love kicked off fully in January of this year, shortly after a traumatizing incident - the loss of a loved one. It was a cocktail of emotions, made up mostly of despair and obese affection. This love was strong enough to heal his pain, she must have been an enchantress, some modern day gypsy, I had to meet her.

The Meet - It was a cold evening, we had mistaken the terminal of arrival for another and I had parked about two kilometers away from the arrival gate. Sadly I had been issued a ticket and pulling out to another parking lot would have attracted additional cost. I acceded to my cheaper side that it was both in our best interest to walk the distance. So our entourage, my-chauffeuring-self, Romeo and Chinyere (can't still find a suitable alias) journeyed to the arrival gate.

At the gate - It was an atmosphere of teasing, humour, ear to ear smiles and mosquito bites (which affected only me by the way). Twenty minutes after, Romeo disengages from our conversation, his gaze had moved towards the exit, darting an I just won the lottery look, spotting a smile, and she emerged. She was, a tall ebony beauty, shy and pleasant. At this point I felt partly bad that I didn't park closer not minding the cost, I also considered helping out with the luggage, because it was going to be quite a walk, but again, I had a discussion with my lazy side and agreed it was better Romeo showed her his macho side.

Journey to the lodge - Erm... It was a soft porn scene at the backseat, with me running into a speed bump courtesy of my spying.

Fast forward to today, the relationship got shipwrecked, for inordinate reasons. My unromantic side is celebrating its erroneous philosophy. What bothers me the most is a comment my friend made, he said, "please do not let me make these sort of decision again". I would think I am the sick one here, but he was suffering the signs and symptoms of a sick heart. I never wear my heart on my sleeves, I keep it tucked away in a titanium reinforced steel cage, beneath my rib-cage with electric wiring, good-luck to whichever cardiologist that would perform an open heart surgery on me.

If letting someone know your heart and its contents, if being forthright and honest with your intentions is not enough, what is? I think all other attributes and contributes would only furnish the relationship but its true foundation is upon the aforementioned.